Guest Issue #08 – Richard Walker

Posted by Richard Walker on December 31st, 2005

I come to you with a message of frustration and mixed amounts of pity for a type of people. No, not George Bush defenders, that’s a different issue for another day(If Bush says it OK to have another day). I’m chattin’ about people who claim Mortal Kombat is too violent, where I stand on it, and where you should stand if you want to be cool. In November 2000, Andrea Wilson filed a lawsuit against Midway Games for influencing her son Noah and his pal to knife each other to(In Noah’s case) death. The attacks were observed from a Mortal Kombat arcade machine they had been playing on earlier in the day. It’s situation similar to these that make people protest that Mortal Kombat is too violent, bloody, and full of gory issues. What actually prompted me to write this drivel was a review on Mortal Kombat(The first one) on GameFAQs stating that it is too violent(I’m not naming it either, if you want to try and find it yourself, be my guest).

Unlike Adam who expressed sympathies to Mrs. Wilson in an earlier kolumn of similar discussion, I fail to dig up any condolenseces outside of the principal fact that somebody got killed. Same for the kid who passed on(This incident occured in 1997, by the way). Pardon me for giving the cold shoulder, but I didn’t and still don’t see what the fuss is about. I don’t see what Mrs. Wilson(And of course, any supporters of this) have to be pissed off about. Why attack Midway? Midway didn’t kill Noah. Ed Boon didn’t kill Noah. Kano didn’t kill Noah. The kid who was playing Mortal Kombat with Noah killed Noah. If Mrs. Wilson has anybody to be angry with, it’s the kid who killed Noah. Unless you ignore that whole logic thing.

Stupid people: But almighty Richard, Mortal Kombat infected Noah’s friend with the malice to kill Noah with a kitchen knife! Richard: Kiss my ass. Let’s break what we know of the incident down, shall we? Noah and Jim(Let’s call him Jim just to save some damn time. Work with me) are playing Mortal Kombat(Let’s assume this is the original Mortal Kombat just to save some damn time. Work with me) on an arcade machine. Immediately, my bullshit detector has registered readings off the premeditated chart. Where’s Mrs. Wilson? Where’s the owner of the establishment? Where’s the damn supervision? Mrs. Wilson, call the fire brigade because it appears you have been burned. If you gave that much of a crap about your son and what he was doing to get inbalmed with the idea of mimmicking a video game, why weren’t you forbidding him to touch games that have magical powers of influencing minors?

Speaking of these magical powers of Mortal Kombat, they’re about as existant as unicorns, leprechauns, and Bush’s brain. NON-EXISTANT. More on that later, but I can’t shake the feeling that somebody’s saying, ‘But it could’ve just been Jim who got influenced by Mortal Kombat!’ OK, let’s assume it was just Jim who got the idea in his head that slashing his friend would be fun(Even though it says that both boys were playing, we’ll never really know if Noah was actually mimmicking Mortal Kombat). Did Mrs. Wilson care enough about her son to stop him playing with Jim, who is easily prompted by entertainment to copy it(Safe to assume from this situation)?

Pardon me for nitpicking, but it’s the truth. Just how far was Mrs. Wilson going to go to protect her child? Stop Noah playing video games? Stop Noah from seeing Jim? Stop Noah from growing up, leaving sex and drugs to a distant imagination, and read him fairy tales every night with a sippy cup of warm milk nearby? Mrs. Wilson, shit happens. Sometimes, shit happens outside of our control, but at the end of the day it comes back to YOU. Parents protect their children to the point of their convenience, and if something bad past that mark happens to the child, it is automatically somebody else’s fault because ‘they did all they could to help the kid’. No… translation: ‘they did all they could to help the kid until it got inconvenient for the parent’. BAH.

In response to my opening statement, Mortal Kombat IS too violent, bloody, and full of gory issues. That’s why it’s NOT for children like Noah and Jim. The Mortal Kombat series is is for adults, or at least maturing teens, because these are the people who aren’t try and copy what’s in the game. Lots of things are performed in the Mortal Kombat game that can easily kill somebody. Little things like drop kicks and throws that look harmless in the game can easily badly injure a human being. Kids are going to experiment, and that’s why Mortal Kombat isn’t for them. Did Mrs. Wilson think of even blasting the damn parents of Jim? Obviously they’ve raised their child with the idea that playing gory games, imitaiting it and subsequently ending a youth’s life is A-OK, so surely they are an additional cause for concern? Bah.

I haven’t even touched on the game itself! Back to the story: Jim and Noah are playing Mortal Kombat, and loving it. At some point along the line, either one or both boys got the idea to go home and try Mortal Kombat for themselves. Here’s the magic power theory again: I’ve played all of the Mortal Kombat games(Or a sufficient amount of games anyway), as a lot people who are going to read this have. Not once have I encountered an instance where the game has said ‘GO OUT AND POKE YOUR FRIENDS WITH SHARP KITCHEN APPLIANCES AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS’. My Mom raised me with a little thing called common sense. Surely you’ve heard of it? It’s this thing that tells you when something defys logic. People with common sense can understand jokes. So if you can understand jokes, maybe you can understand that pretty much everything in Mortal Kombat shouldn’t be reiterated outside of the game unless you have a death wish? Apparently Noah and Jim couldn’t. Mortal Kombat hasn’t ever intentionall! y put the idea into my head that I should rip somebody’s spine out, put bombs and stuff them into my friends pockets(Eh, Stryker?), etc., if it has, common sense kicks in and tells me that leads a sticky situation.

To the climax of the story… Jim kills Noah with a kitchen knife. My bullshit detector(Fully repaired) has caught fire. How the red, firey hell did Jim get a kitchen knife? If this is Noah’s house, where’s Mrs. Wilson now? Keeping knifes from the access of children isn’t exactly overprotection. Overprotection is following your kid on his first date. Overprotection is chewing your kids food for him/her so they don’t burn their mouths on their refried beans. Is it too much to ask that you don’t give kids knives to play with? Midway didn’t give Jim the knife. Sonya didn’t give Jim the knife. Mortal Kombat didn’t even tell Jim to stab his pal, so Mortal Kombat is in nowhere near the blame for this. If this tragic incident occured in Jim’s house, well, that says it all. Sue the shit out of Jim’s parents for weilding Noah with a knife and get on with it.

I’m not trying to lambast poor Mrs. Wilson or anyone in involved, but if that’s how portraying the evidence comes out, that’s how it’s bloody come out. Mortal Kombat can inadvertantly poison a child’s perception. That’s why it’s not MADE FOR CHILDREN, got it? However Noah and Jim chose between the option of playing it and not playing it, and a hefty price was paid. It’s nobody’s fault but the supervisors. If I said to some jackass, ‘There are rabid racoons in that trash can, you shouldn’t put your hand in there’, it’s jackass’ choice to put his hand in the can and risk getting rabies and AIDs. I informed him of the danger, and that’s all I wanted to do. Same with Midway and their explicitly rated games. They’ve already stated that Mortal Kombat isn’t for kids and rated it 13+(Or whatever it is). If the children still play the games and wind up in the unfavorable situation such as that of Jim and Noah’s, it’s everybody’s fault BUT Midway. Got it? Good.

My apologies, my points are pretty much all over the place in the kolumn, but I you hope get my point. In a nutshell, I repeat: Mortal Kombat is too bloody. Of course it damn well is- about fifteen pints of blood is lost in the opening video of MK: Deadly Alliance. That’s why it shouldn’t be played by minors, because at first glance they can be astonished and be stained with awe by the near-foreign thought of Bicycle Kicks, Scorpion Spears and Kano Knife Throws. They can imitate the blood-inducing moves and, like in this case, kill each other. Being a parent lumbers you with the responsibility of protecting your child from what you believe is inappropriate, and throw in your wisdom-drenched words on it. If Mrs. Wilson was a good parent, a REALLY good parent to Noah, he’d be alive and probably be playing MK: Shaolin Monks and awaiting the third Mortal Kombat movie.

Pardon me for sounding a little hasty in places, but jackoffs who truly believe that violence and other terms deemed inappropriate in games like Mortal Kombat are the ones who are too lazy to take the damn responsibility. If it is really such an important issue to tackle Mortal Kombat and games like it, why don’t the people do it BEFORE they get affected? Why wait until you get burned to install a smoke alarm and hand out fire saftey brochures?

Thank you for reading my inane babbling, you must have a really tolerant attention span. God bless you, and keeping playing Mortal Kombat. And if you’re not, starting playing already! Well, not if your age consists of a single digit.